I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
