I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Randomize