I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
Randomize
