I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
Randomize
