I have demons in me.
Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize