8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
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