we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
Randomize
