Kareoke will never be a sober sport
Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
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