yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
you're hired as official boob wrangler
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
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