he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
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There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
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