I think I am morally bankrupt
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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