New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
Randomize
