i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
Randomize
