would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
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