Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
love makes seman taste better
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there