Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
It’s A Miracle These 21 Promiscuous People Don’t Have STDs
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
These 27 Infuriatingly Annoying Habits Will Ruin Your Day
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho