I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
23 Disturbing Small-Town Horror Stories
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
These 23 Kids Have The Most Overbearing Parents Imaginable
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not