I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?