My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
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