last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Randomize
