Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
The struggles of a small town man whore
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
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