btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
Randomize
