He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
I supernannyed him into submission
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
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