I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tornado booty call.. dedication
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
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