need another drink. this is the easiest way
Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
One girl and one boy is just not enough.
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
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