I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
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