Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
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