its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
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