She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
Randomize