I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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