i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
