isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
Randomize
