how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
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