i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
Randomize
