I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
Randomize
