his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
Randomize
