so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
