ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
Randomize
