Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
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