Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
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