it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
Randomize
