I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
Randomize
