She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
If I had your ass I would rule the world
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
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