Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
