There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
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Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
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I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
Dick very happy bro
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
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