names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
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