I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Randomize
