Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
