Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
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