He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
