im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize
