Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
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