soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
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