I love black thongs
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
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