I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
Randomize
