Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
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