Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize
