im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
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