so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
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After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
Randomize