I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
And then he peed in my hair
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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