Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Randomize
