Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
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