Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
Randomize