Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
Randomize
