Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Randomize
