it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
Randomize
