Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
Randomize