yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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