oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
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